Now I know the answer..

When we used to go up and visit my parents with my oldest (who was just a baby at the time), I wondered when we left..why is my mother crying? My dad died while I was pregnant for my second daughter so they never got to meet unfortunately.. We would go up for a weekend with both little ones, my mother always cried when we left. My mom would take the girls for 1 week each summer (as much as she could handle with 2 little ones) .. we would come pick them up.... she cried when we left. I would go up and bring my mom down to our house for a week (or however long she wanted to stay) - then drive her back home when she was ready - she cried when we left.

My grandson lives 2 hours away now.. I cry when he leaves..

Now I understand...

Not so many tater tots anymore...

This was supposed to get easier once they moved away.. it sucks. Had the little guy for 4 days over Labor Day and it was awesome! I'll never NOT say that he doesn't wear me out, but it's a good feeling of being worn out. We talk on the phone a lot and he always tells me that he misses me and loves me ... I send him a weekly *package* (he loves getting mail).. This weeks package was the pair of crocs that he left here and a couple of videos I had for him. Nothing big.. but getting mail is COOL! lol :) Makes him happy and makes me happy knowing that he is happy.

He started Kindergarten... full day. His mom drops him off in the morning at 7am.. before school daycare.. and then he takes the bus home. The freakin' bus! He's little to take the bus, but he told me all about it... and about what a big boy he is now.. and how the bus driver drops him off at the right spot everyday... where his mom is waiting for him... :) And he's having fun in school.. I asked what he does in school.. He replied "oh you know, learn more numbers and letters and reading - just stuff like that".. :)

I got a 2 phone video's from his mom last week... He was cruising on his Razor (I bought him for his birthday) - balancing perfectly and going fast!!! AND - starting riding his bike without training wheels! She didn't finish the video as he went helmet and torso into a tree (LOL) and came out saying.. "it happens" and starting riding again. I'm so glad he knows that he needs the helmet!!! :)

Today I got mobile pics of them at the bird place (audobon society) in Portland.. looking for milkweed .. Not sure what they are doing with the milkweed, but I remember when my girls were little, they made Xmas decorations with milkweed... Guess we'll find out soon enough :)

Soooo.. I guess this tells you how I am.. and how things are.. I have more.. Maybe tomorrow :)

Oh what a feeling!!!!

My daughter and grandson came down Tuesday!!! I came in the house and the little guy just about knocked me over! I got the biggest hug and a sincere "I miss you so much Grammy!" .. Brought tears to my eyes (and it's doing it again just writing about it!) ..

Daughter went out with friends to the Casino Ballroom at Hampton Beach Tuesday night, so we had the boy to ourselves! He was sooooo excited! (as were we!) Went in the pool and played with the remote control boats. Ordered pizza .. just had a blast! Unfortunately I had to work the next morning, but my daughter decided to stay another night (last night)... wooohooooooooooo!!! I was thrilled! We had a nice dinner and then did the pool thing all over again - the little guy and I crashed around 9 (watching TV in the BIG bed)..

They did have to leave today, but came by my office to say cya.. I wasn't in my office when they got there, but when I walked in, he hollered "Grammy!" and jumped in my arms and just hugged me sooooo tight! My daughter and I chatted for a bit and off they went (but will be back in a couple weeks.. can't wait! :)

When they walked out to her car I was holding the door and he turned around and came back.. and hugged me, gave me a big smooch and said he missed me already ... what a feeling ..

Getting the "Hotel" back in order..

I finally have my office again... got everything moved in here yesterday and Comcast came today (yes Sunday) to get the broadband up and running again in here. Not sure why the other guy made it inactive when the new connection was put in the kitchen back when, and don't really care as this didn't cost me anything... whew (he was here for over an hour)..

My kitchen is becoming a kitchen again. Got the new table in there yesterday and this afternoon we have a roman shade to hang (should be fun considering the BF doesn't know jack about doing anything in the house... like hanging a 71" wide roman shade! lol). The living room set was delivered last week so that room is all set. The oldest daughter finished cleaning out what was her sisters "nest" (what a mess!!!) ... boxed up what was left, shampooed the carpet and painted the walls and made herself a nice little living room up there. Will make a decent guest room for anyone that wanders in and needs a place to stay for a night or two (on a futon).

The grocery bill is WAY down.. from $200+ per week to about $85-$110. Anxious to see the light bill and the water bill.

BUT.. I haven't seen my grandson since they left... and I miss him sooooo much! I worry about him (no need to, he has a great mom) .. can't help it. He calls me almost everyday though.. sometimes he just rambles on and on and other times it's a quick I love you.. She's got him registered to start school (kindergarten) ... I'm sad that I won't see him go to school on his first day.. But that's moms job, right??

The "cement pond" (as I call it) has finally started to warm up. What a miserable summer we're having... rain rain and more rain. We have a few hot, humid days (which helps warm the pool), then it rains again (and again and again) - causing algae in the pool. We probably shouldn't even have opened it this year, but with such a short summer season up here, one can only hope for the best I guess. Hopefully August and September will be nice so it gets some use.. but here it is, August 2nd - and its raining! Cabin fever in winter from all the snow and now again, from all the rain... Depressing to say the least!

Oh.. my grandson got his case of brown beans!! His first comment to his mom was... who sends beans?? LOL Then his mom read the card that came with them and he called me immediately, laughing and thanking me and telling me that's what he was having for dinner.. :)

Still too damn quiet..... :(

Empty Nest

Well they're gone.. youngest daughter and grandson that is. Moved on Thursday - about 2 hours away from here (Maine). I've talked to them most everyday since then (2 days now! lol) and they are settling in nicely. I don't think it's hit me that I'm not going to see that little guy everyday anymore yet - it's like they're just away for the weekend. Even though all the their furniture (and our furniture) is gone, there are still the many backyard toys that they can't bring with them (as they are in an apartment complex - which makes me happy) so I see his basketball hoop in the backyard and his sand table, Tonka trucks, bumper pool boat, etc.

It's horribly quiet here..

My grandson always loves seeing the UPS or Fedex guy come as that means a package that MIGHT be for him, might not - doesn't matter - he thinks it's cool that his Grammy just goes on the computer and then things come here. So, since he LOVES Bush's brown beans so much (one of his favorite foods - brown beans! lol) - I ordered a case of the microwavable bowls of Bush Beans and they are addressed to him. I enclosed a gift card.. lol He'll be happy he got a package just for him and he'll love what's in the box!! :) If I could send tater tots, I would - but can't due to the fact that they are frozen (obviously another favorite of his). I'll just bring him a big bag when I go visit him :)

I think once we get our house back in order I'll be good with all this. It's time for my daughter and her BF and her son to move on - start their new life.... and we need to get ours back.

It's just too damn quiet right now.... :(

Grandson and Daughter leave tomorrow..

They are going up to Maine to stay with an aunt, and she (daughter) has 3 weeks there to find an apartment, daycare for the little man, and get him registered for kindergarten .... AND, she DID find a job (for now). So that's a start.. She finished college (again) - massage therapist (plus has the teaching thing under her belt) -- She'll be fine..

It's going to be a tough day tomorrow as things are actually starting to happen. I'll say my goodbyes tonight - go to work at my normal time (6am) as I don't want to be here when they leave.. This is the first step - the final step will be when the moving truck is here for all their things.. That will be the toughest day.. Not looking forward to it, but it's time for all to get their own space, their schedules, routines.. their lives where they should be. That includes me and the BF..

We had the little guys birthday party yesterday.. It's been raining here every day since April I believe.. Yesterday, was the most perfect day we've had all spring/summer. Not a drop of rain.. all his friends showed up - there had to have been 40-45 people here. Everyone swam in the pool (even though the water is a mere 70 degrees.. brrrr), we had chicken and hot dogs and burgers and corn on the cob and mac salad and potato salad and a bunch of other "odds & ends", the kids (and adults) played games in and out of the water.. it was simply a perfect day! He'll be 5 on July 10, but we wanted to have his party while they were still here so he could have his friends from preschool here, etc. Again -a PERFECT DAY for all!

Need to get back to making dinner...

Wow...the day/night care is amost over..

I love my kids.. I love my grandson. Been taking care of the "kids" and grandson for a few years... and been taking care of my grandson, 4 nights a week, for the past ... 15 months or so, so his mom could take her massage therapy class at night.

You will see a lot of "I" 's here - because yes, I'm talking about me!! It's all about me for once.

I go to bed early as I get up early (4am - the latest) ... so taking care of the little one made me stay up late! Way tooooo late! 10-11pm - which left me with only 4-5 hours sleep. GRUMP.. I can't sleep until I know his mother is home. Don't ask why, I can't answer the question. When my oldest daughter is home, I can sleep because I know she's here and he will be ok. And I KNOW that I could have put him in his bed, and all would be fine.. Problem is -- I couldn't put him in his bed... so we hung out in the BIG BED and watched a little Nick on TV and he would fall asleep around 9.. But even though sleeping, I couldn't put him the bed.. A fear of ?????

We did spend our evenings trying to keep the boy entertained - although I think he entertained us more..

So anyway.. 3 more days .. Mon / Tues / Weds ... His mom is done college and DAY/NIGHTCARE IS CLOSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was a LONG 14 months (I know it was more than 14 months) - but we did it... Perhaps there is a God! :) We all survived - :)

Damn.. we DID IT!