Daughter gets married :)

May 15 2010: Jess gets married .. wooohoooooo!!! She's so happy! And that's what matters most of all.. It was a small wedding, about 90 people, but that's what they wanted. And I couldn't complain.. It was beautiful in all aspects - the wedding, the people and the weather! What more can I say..

Ahhh... Spring!!!

I must admit we had an easy winter here in the Northeast.. Except for all the rain and flooding, we really didn't get much snow. Did feel for the folks in PA and DC, MD, etc that ended up with all the snow (a little backwards from the norm). We had another big hit of rain last week, which really swelled the rivers. People losing their basements, driveways, roads washed away (like I haven't been there before (the basement part). No leaks for us anymore ... woohoo!!! Some areas here in New Hampshire had 12-15" of rain.. in MARCH alone! That's a lot of water! Lots of power outages.. wind.. But I'm really not complaining, just stating facts and happy we didn't have much snow this year.. If all this rain had been snow, however, we'd all still be buried!!

All the plants are coming up and yes, it's a bit early and I just hope we don't get some freak cold spell that is going ruin them. Can't stop them from growing! Sat out on the deck yesterday for a few hours and chatted / played Scrabble with my oldest daughter. We both fried in the sun.. and it felt good! So instead of pale white, we are now looking like a couple of cooked lobsters! lol Easter Sunday today, it's not as hot as yesterday, but still beautiful out there. We'll be having a cookout (at dinnertime) - need to christen the grill!

April and May are going to be busy around here.. A baby shower for my niece, 60th birthday party for my brother, daughters bridal shower, daughters wedding... than a well needed break before the grandson's birthday party. It's been crazy around here.. but a good crazy!

February 25 2010 wind / rain storm

Got to get this off my chest..

My sister.. my one and only sister is married to an alcoholic.. a SEVERE, non-functioning, can't hold a job, alcoholic. He even had a kidney removed 2 years ago and was diagnosed with emphysema - has the lungs of an 80 year old (he was told) - and still smokes like a chimney (he's my age, 51).. well they both do (smoke a lot), so neither one can help the other. When he tries to dry out, she drinks in front of him. Their 19 year old son lives at home, no job, won't look for a job, and calls my sister at work (she works with me so I hear this crap) and bitches if she doesn't leave cigarettes for him when she leaves for work. There is also a 12 year old in the family. She's smoking cigarettes too, and skipping school already. I guess I shouldn't be surprised as big brother was and isn't a great role model and her parents suck too.

So all I hear at work is how broke they are. How she can't buy food, how she can't pay the fuel bill, how is she going to get to work - she has no gas for the car, etc etc etc. I won't give them money because I know what they will do with it - booze, cigarettes and probably pot for the father and son team. For quite awhile we've been having my sister come over to our house like once a month and pretty much letting her take whatever she wanted from the freezer, etc. Steaks, chicken, frozen pizzas, cheese, canned goods, toilet paper, paper towels, shampoo, soap, etc.. (we buy in bulk and it only meant we had to go and stock up again...but we were helping - making sure they always had food and paper goods). She was basically doing her groceries here.

Oh.. My sister has been driving with an expired drivers license for over 2 years now (it cost $50 for a 5 year license - "can't afford it"). Has been driving a car with NO insurance on it whatsoever!!! Nope, not even liability ("can't afford it"). She keeps getting a flat on the passenger side, needs a new rim or a good used one ("can't afford it")... and she needs that rim because she drives on it when it goes flat (DUH). Has a problem with the engine in the car .. something about the radiator stuff going into the engine or something.. I don't know as I half listen a lot but.. not getting fixed "can't afford it".

So a week ago Saturday, she asked me to do her taxes. Of course I do (not sure when she can't do them herself as she has a computer, but whatever... I do them every year). On Friday, 2/5, the money was in the bank - $3100. I told her that we would take her to Sams and SHE could do some "bulk" shopping, and reminded her that she could finally get her license and perhaps pay a few weeks rent ahead ($200/week) - fix the car and save a little bit for later.

Well so far, she has the cable bill caught up - not sure how much she owed them but I know she's been making weekly payments (must have HBO and Cinemax and Showtime -- ALL the pay channels which is approximately $200 a month to have), spent about $300 on groceries (not bulk - but bagel bites and hot pockets.. all the quick frozen food type things). Bought the son a couple of pet FROGS..yes, FROGS (because he wanted them) and tonight, she is buying a brand new computer!!!! That $3K will be gone by the weekend (if not sooner) and it will be back to listening to how broke they are... GOD HELP ME PLEASE. I could scream right about now..

So not renewing her license, not fixing the car, not getting insurance, not getting ahead on rent, not doing the bulk groceries .. just staying in the same friggin' hole BUT with frozen junk food and a new computer and some dumbass frogs, cigarettes, booze and pot.

And she wonders why I don't "feel bad" .. ???????????????????

A New Year

Here we go again... and as Oprah Winfrey said.. "Cheers to the New Year and another chance for us to get it right."

I did what I intended and started mine out right. Started saying NO to my kids. Finally! I don't know how I let things get so out of hand, other than I love my kids, but I'm not helping them. It started with my oldest, she's 29.. We eat out once a week, and even if she's here with her boyfriend, we ask what they want and we pay for it all. They don't even offer to chip in. Well, a week ago yesterday, me and the bf were ordering at Cactus Jacks.. asked the daughter and her bf if they wanted anything (of course they did) - then told them, that we're not paying for them.. Daughter was a bit taken aback, but they paid and against their will, went to pick it up. I was proud of myself :) Sounds stupid and simple perhaps to you, but it's not to me (or her).

Daughter #2 (will be 27 in February), has a problem with her car. Needs a new catalytic converter as it won't pass inspection in February due to emissions. So rather than fix the car (no doubt it won't be cheap), she opted to go car shopping. Asked if I would co-sign (yet again) - and I would, if the deal was right. She called, all excited, found a car, 2008, with 45,000 miles, a measly 60 day warranty and the payment was the same as she has now... which she admitted, she could not really afford. Told her no, I won't sign on that. The payment is the same (can't afford it), the miles are high for a 2008 (she puts lots of miles on her vehicles) and a 60 DAY warranty?? No way in hell was a signing for that. So she's mad at me.. oh well! I'm not mad at me :)

So... I'm happy for me :)

Next will be charging the 29 year old some rent. I have an electricity bill of $190 a month now (yes it went down since the 27 year old and my grandson moved) - but it's still high! I'm not going to ask for a lot - perhaps $100 a month. Just to cover some of the electricity bill. She'll be pissed off, but you know what? If she is.. she can get her own place and see how much she gets for $100 a month. Perhaps an empty refrigerator box under the Notre Dame bridge with the other homeless people. And she has a dog (good luck finding an apartment).

So, so far.. I'm doing what I know is right (finally) - and not letting them walk all over me. Between supporting the kids and my grandson, and the home repairs that have happened recently (new roof.. ugghh.. $4200) -- I'm officially broke!! AND it sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm getting too old to be broke! My nest egg is gone.. I can only imagine what's going to happen when I'm really old.. I'll be kicked to the curb probably. Oh well!!!! Hopefully it's near one of those steam vents to keep me warm! ROFL!

Now I know the answer..

When we used to go up and visit my parents with my oldest (who was just a baby at the time), I wondered when we left..why is my mother crying? My dad died while I was pregnant for my second daughter so they never got to meet unfortunately.. We would go up for a weekend with both little ones, my mother always cried when we left. My mom would take the girls for 1 week each summer (as much as she could handle with 2 little ones) .. we would come pick them up.... she cried when we left. I would go up and bring my mom down to our house for a week (or however long she wanted to stay) - then drive her back home when she was ready - she cried when we left.

My grandson lives 2 hours away now.. I cry when he leaves..

Now I understand...

Not so many tater tots anymore...

This was supposed to get easier once they moved away.. it sucks. Had the little guy for 4 days over Labor Day and it was awesome! I'll never NOT say that he doesn't wear me out, but it's a good feeling of being worn out. We talk on the phone a lot and he always tells me that he misses me and loves me ... I send him a weekly *package* (he loves getting mail).. This weeks package was the pair of crocs that he left here and a couple of videos I had for him. Nothing big.. but getting mail is COOL! lol :) Makes him happy and makes me happy knowing that he is happy.

He started Kindergarten... full day. His mom drops him off in the morning at 7am.. before school daycare.. and then he takes the bus home. The freakin' bus! He's little to take the bus, but he told me all about it... and about what a big boy he is now.. and how the bus driver drops him off at the right spot everyday... where his mom is waiting for him... :) And he's having fun in school.. I asked what he does in school.. He replied "oh you know, learn more numbers and letters and reading - just stuff like that".. :)

I got a 2 phone video's from his mom last week... He was cruising on his Razor (I bought him for his birthday) - balancing perfectly and going fast!!! AND - starting riding his bike without training wheels! She didn't finish the video as he went helmet and torso into a tree (LOL) and came out saying.. "it happens" and starting riding again. I'm so glad he knows that he needs the helmet!!! :)

Today I got mobile pics of them at the bird place (audobon society) in Portland.. looking for milkweed .. Not sure what they are doing with the milkweed, but I remember when my girls were little, they made Xmas decorations with milkweed... Guess we'll find out soon enough :)

Soooo.. I guess this tells you how I am.. and how things are.. I have more.. Maybe tomorrow :)